Last night was so hilarious. So there I am trying to get to sleep for an early morning start and Holly starts screaming. She wriggling around holding her ear. I'm like 'What's the matter, i'm trying to sleep?' She says there's a scratching noise in her ear and its really painful. She said it felt like something has got in her ear from her headphones. So while she's squirming around, I google 'painful scratching noise in ear'. Top of the list is 'How to get rid of a bug in your ear'. She matches all the symptoms and Holly starts freaking out. Did I mention that about 10 minutes earlier we went downstairs to steal pieces of chocolate from the fridge. Karma? So anyway the page says use warm mineral oil and pour it into your ear to drown the bug and wait 5 minutes for it to float to the top. I check about 5 other websites, they all say the same thing. She's still madly in pain and moaning but we where the hell do we get mineral oil from? The whole house is sleeping so there was only one thing we could do- Vegetable oil. We go downstairs and get the vegetable oil but it said warm. So we bashed it in the microwave for a few seconds before pouring it into a juice bottle. Next thing Holly is lying on the sofa while I am pouring warm vegetable oil into her ear. Her ear starts bubbling! There I am just waiting, waiting for some ugly cockroach or drowned ant to surface. Its tense ...but a few minutes pass and nothing. The oil just slowly drains into her brain. Not sure what to do, we give it a second attempt with not much luck. Holly still complains that her ear is sore but worried that I'm going to drown her in vegetable oil, we had nothing to do but wake up our host family. We probably should have done that at the start. I knock on their door and try and explain what happened, full hand actions and everything. They understand so its not a problem and to the hospital we go. We get to the hospital and they put Holly into a wheelchair! For an earache?! Ok dramatic!
No one speaks English and communication was a struggle but the doctor was available quickly. There we are, Thai Mum and Dad and me all staring while the doctor shines a torch into Holly's ear. She looks puzzled and checks her other ear. Going back to the sore ear she says she can see something. We're all eager to find out what it is. A nurse passes over some extremely long tweezers and in she goes. A few seconds later she pulls out the specimen and places it on some tissue. We all go in and examine it. It was about half a cm wide, round, yellow-brown ..... it was earwax.
Tense moment over ..even though Holly still thought she had a bug in there and she still does! She moaned that it still really hurt so the doctor prescribed her some medicine. Holly still in her wheelchair, we waited at least 15 minutes for this medicine. Finally we could go home and I could go back to bed! Even after treatment, Holly was still wheeled out of the hospital! Service or what? In the car we open the miraculous medicine we waited ages for, to find the doctor had given paracetamol and ear wax remover - brilliant!
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